The key is the coach – you need to find one who is genuinely committed to player development even when that means a lot of losses. And that goes for the other parents, too. You would be surprised how other parents can start backstabbing and infighting after a string of losses. For many coaches, the primary objectives of an AAU team are (1) To generate a reputation as a winning coach that might lead to bigger and better things, and (2) To find and latch onto a phenomenal athlete who can carry the AAU coach into college, or even the pros. Meanwhile they are also looking to make a bit of money on the side through fees, fundraisers, hosting tournaments, etc. — all of this translates to a lot of parent volunteer time. This type of coach is looking to leverage your kid to obtain notoriety and a better life for themselves. If your kid lets them down, then there are dozens of other kids waiting to take his place.

I have seen many basketball “phenoms” come and go. Some kids are 6 feet tall in the sixth or seventh grade and athletic. But a year or two later they haven't grown much and others have advanced their games faster, leaving the former phenom behind. Keep in mind that kids who are told that they are better than everyone else tend to think that they don't need to learn anything and don't need to work hard. Then reality catches up with them.

AAU can be a positive experience, overall, if you find the right coach/team, understand the AAU system, and can work past the unpleasant aspects. But you have to look out for the welfare of your kid because few others will unless he looks like the next MJ, Kobe, or LeBron.