Resolve to Enjoy Family Meals This Summer

Now that summer is upon us and we parents have that familiar emotional mix of excitement and dread– excitement to be at  the end of the grueling school year and its relentless schedule and early morning starts; dread because we are at the whim of summer– some of us still have a grueling schedule, but at least it’s a self-imposed one. For the parents who are concerned about engaging their children in activities that will keep them mentally and intellectually sharp, summer is a challenge because after a full year of study and (at least here in Texas) endless testing, academic pursuit is the last thing kids want to consider. Still, studies show that kids lose ground academically over the summer, especially if they do not read.

How do we achieve this for our young ones and also for our teens? Firstly, I always want to point out for parents of teens that summer is a good time to encourage them to get jobs. Even if the job is a paper route or a neighborhood dog walking business, kids learn beneficial lessons about work ethic, independent and critical thinking, not to mention the value of a dollar.  I am often moved to ask the question- how is it that some children live on a much higher socio-economic level than their parents? The answer is that often parents raise their kids to expect a privileged lifestyle far beyond what they are prepared to maintain on their own.When parents do this, they set their children up for failure and under-achievement, and they end up with children who have a more difficult time launching out of their parents’ homes and into an independent existence…. But I could rant all day about sparing the job and spoiling the child. Instead, I want to suggest that if you want to keep your goals summer simple-  a good job and some good reading are great beginnings to a meaningful summer for kids of every age.

In addition, even if you don’t want to approach your kids about doing academic work, there are lots of fun and creative ways to boost your child’s intellectual curiosity and power! The intellectual development of our children involves much more than what one can achieve in the classroom or on a test. We parents tend to focus on academic achievement when we should be spending a little more time helping our children become excited learners, creative thinkers and passionately curious people. These are the things that really matter in the long run. And it is from these cultivated traits that true academic achievement flows.

Tom Fischgrund endeavored to discover the secrets of kids who got perfect scores on their SATs. He, interestingly, discovered that this small, elite group of super-star students shared quite a bit in common. And very little of their commonalities had anything to do with their SAT study approaches. In his book, The Seven Secrets of Acing the SAT, he shares what he discovered. According to Fischgrund found that SAT-perfect scorers are:

1. Self-confident, self-effacing and self-motivated.

2. Intellectually curious and excited about learning.

3. Quick and voracious reader.s

4. Eager to pursue and excel within a core group of passions.

5. Proactive.

6. Part of a social network of friends and family that gave critical support.

7. More focused on succeeding in life than on acing the SAT

Just a quick glance at this list tells us that instead of shuttling our children from one activity and tutor to another with the relentless mission of skill mastery, it is much more important to help our children become well-rounded, intellectually curious and passionate people, who are self-starters and strong finishers. This we can do at home, without the need to drive or hire or keep a break-neck schedule of commitments. Without going into the research that shows how children need down time to develop creatively and free-time to discover their passions, let me just suggest some ways we can turn-on our children’s intellect in ways that will pay off for them and the entire family forever.

Part of the effort to ignite their intellectual selves needs to be making learning a family priority. Parents are well served by modeling learning as a life-long endeavor. So the following activities are things that YOU can do. As the parent, what YOU spend your time on sets the priority in your household. So try to engage in as many of these activities with your child as you can. Make the summer a family adventure in learning and self-discovery.

 Ten ways to make your child an intellectual powerhouse over the summer (and still keep your day job)!!

1. Family Reading Night. Creating a reader is one of the most important endeavors for parents. Reading is the key to learning– The key. Students who read well are much stronger students. In our household, we have Family Reading Night. We set the date ahead of time and hype it up. We bake cookies. And on the allotted day, after dinner, we come together. I read a book aloud to everyone– a contemporary classic like The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo. We used to do this in our bed, but the family got too big to fit. Then each person reads his or her own book to his or herself. We are together, reading separately…eating cookies and drinking milk. The only sounds in the house are chewing and pages turning. It’s a lovely time.

2. Reading Challenge. There are lots of reading challenge programs–in the libraries and some schools. But you can set up your own, with your own prizes. You can make it a competition. But I think it works better if each person has his or her own goal and reward. Mom and Dad participate, too. You can set a common goal like –a book a week. The prizes don’t have to be big, just motivational.

3. New Site Night. Once a week explore the internet together by introducing a new website that has an interesting focus. If one of the kids has a unique interest, try to find obscure sites in that area. My son likes to skateboard. So we found a site that explores physics through skateboarding. It was both educational and very engaging. Or look for something in an area you know nothing about. Explore the site and discuss it together. You can take turns being the “discoverer”…just make sure you have the proper security blocks on the computer!!! Just say’n!

4. ”What’s New”–each day, ask each family member to find an interesting news item. The only requirement is that it has to be found from a printed source, e.g. the newspaper or a news website–anywhere you have to read the story or report. Radio and Television do not count. Discuss everyone’s news at dinner time or during the drive home.

5. Museum Day–Once a week visit a museum. Any museum. Your city museums are treasures. Try to achieve a variety over the summer–art, natural science, history. If your child is a museum hater, start with a museum that exhibits a specific interest of his or hers. Look in the directory. Chances are your city has museums you had no idea were there!…And many of them have regular Family Days when families can visit for free.

6. Unplug Night- Once a week turn off every electronic device (except perhaps the stereo for music) and play a board game. No cell phones, no ipods, no video games and NO TV.

7. SAT Question of the Day-The College Board website gives an “SAT question of the day”. (See the sidebar on this site. I feature the daily SAT question over there) If you have older elementary school kids on up to high school, ask them the question each day–at breakfast or at dinner– and discuss the answer. Every now and then, go back to an old question to see if they remember.

8. Twitter--the social networking site, has capitalized on a brilliant idea. Members responds to the question, “What are you doing,” and can only use 140 characters to respond. This makes for succinct statements that no one minds reading because they are short and sweet. This concept makes the idea of the “summer journal” so much more palatable for kids. Tell them they have to make an entry every day. But it only has to be 140 characters and that includes spaces and punctuation. But since it’s so short, it has to be (age-appropriately) proof-read and corrected for spelling, punctuation and grammar. As time goes on, most kids will want to write more. But don’t let them. This way they will learn about efficient writing and the importance of editing. Since the entries are so short, they won’t mind doing it all summer, which is fantastic! You may want to share your entries at Family Meal (see #10), or even during Family Reading Night.

9. One Green Thing– Research shows that teens who are interested in the environment share some positive traits–they are good peer communicators, they are computer/Internet savvy and they are leaders among their peers. This is probably because caring for the environment is an intellectual pursuit. Encourage this activity at home. Once a week have your child suggest “One Green Thing” for the family to do and then help him or her institute it–like recycling or composting or just turning off the water while you brush your teeth.

10. Family Mealtime. The forgotten gift. Research shows families that eat a meal together are healthier and happier. Children who have family meals, perform better in school and better cope with stress. So set a goal to eat at least one meal together per week…and driving home with everyone scarfing down McDonald’s burgers in the backseat does not count! Sorry!

[This Evergreen Content post was originally published in much the same form  May 09, 2009]

Red Table Talk at Yahoo.com

Just in time for Mother’s Day, Jada Pinkett Smith has a new offering, Red Table Talk, on the Yahoo network. She endeavors to create a space for authentic conversation. And to show that she is serious about this goal of real and “raw” discourse, her inaugural show features a very intimate conversation between Jada, her mother, Adrienne Banfield- Jones, and her daughter, Willow. Now this is programming I can wrap my arms around! Part 1 of the Red Table Talk Series (there are three so far) jumps right out of the gate and discusses whether or not Jada resents her mother’s attempts to be a better grandmother than she was a mother.  Part of this discussion includes  Banfield’s discussion of her drug addiction during Jada’s formative years.

Their discussion is sincere, engaging and illuminating. But most importantly, it tells a story that allows understanding of not only who Jada Pinkett Smith’s mother is, but who Jada is and why. I found this discussion powerful and empowering. It speaks very loudly about an issue that is my new passion, that we women must begin to tell our own stories. I especially love that Pinkett-Smith allows a window into a past that is (for most of us) unknown and for the two of them, Smith and her mother, still full of unresolved issues. All three of these women are folks you want to know, they go a bit behind the celebrity and offer up something real.

And for that, I will be watching!

Watch and enjoy HERE.  [Click Pic to view video]

Some years ago, in the midst of the controversy over Professor Louis Gate’s arrest by officers who thought he was breaking into his own house, I wrote an article called Law Enforcement Etiquette for Black Folks: How to Act When You Encounter the Police. I received a fair amount of criticism for implying that Black folks, especially Black men and boys, needed to behave a certain way so as not to get unnecessarily beaten, arrested or killed. The Houston Chronicle ran the article and many folks, Black and White, were up in arms about my suggestion that Black folks have a unique need to be careful with the police. Some Black folks felt that I was suggesting we should be weak and submissive, which compromises our humanity.

I was amazed that so many missed the point, which was that sometimes we have to prioritize survival. We have to recognize that at the time of an encounter with the police, or any other person with a gun, we must behave in ways that will defuse the situation so as not to end up injured, arrested or dead.

The recent death of Trayvon Martin brings this reality crashing through our conciousness again, here is the link to what I have to say about this recent tragedy–

Why I Cannot Write About Trayvon Martin

Angry. Black. Woman.

These three words are powerful because they somehow produce a curious mixture of fear and social diminishment. The words are used in a way that strongly imply that Black women are always unjustifiably angry and ready to erupt.

Read Full Article on Mom’s Clean Air Force-- HERE

Julianne Moore gets it. And I am so glad she does!

I think it’s so AWESOME that our efforts at Moms Clean Air Force are attracting all of my favorite celebrity women, like Julianne Moore! It’s cool to know that I share a passion for clean air with women whose work I so admire! Check out the video. Ms. Moore really says it all!

Go HERE for Juliane Moore’s MCAF Video…and to join us!

Cartoon Credit: Thanks Liza Donnelly, Fellow MCAF Mom

Congratulations to everyone who spoke out, wrote letters, blog posts and op eds. Congratulations to all who called legislators to task and stepped up to get the truth out.

Today, we made history.

Today, EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson unveiled the Mercury and Air Toxics rule. (read the announcement HERE) This is a landmark clean air achievement that has taken a 21 year hard labor to birth. And like all births, labor pains at the end have been the most intense, because of all of the resistance from the energy industry and their legislative co-conspirators.

Generations of children- some whose health has been profoundly affected by air pollution, have long awaited this action by the EPA.  Lisa P. Jackson made it happen and our activism and attention also played an important role to make this a reality…Just in time for the holidays.

So kudos to you all and happy holidays!

Go to Mom’s Clean Air Force to see Liza’s other clean air cartoons!

Also, Go HERE to read the very informative Twitter Chat event with Lisa P. Jackson about clean air, mercury and what Moms can do!

Lisa P. Jackson Tweeting about Clean Air

Ohhh, did I just scream that?!?                       Meant to!

New Moms listen up!

Click HERE to hear what this wise women has to say!

The Yale study found that despite promises from the industry to curb marketing to youth,  young folks are exposed to “a massive amount” of marketing for sugary drinks. This study,  the most comprehensive and science-based assessment of sugary drink nutrition and marketing ever conducted,  indicates that manufacturers are employing more sophisticated marketing, by incorporating social media, and smart phones, rewards for purchasing sugary drinks, community events and cause-related marketing. So that kids are being appealed to in ways that escape the awareness of their parents.

All parents should care about the nutritional implications of this marketing onslaught. The study looked at 14 different beverage companies and examined the nutritional quality of close to 600 products.”  The products examined included full-calorie soda, energy drinks, fruit drinks, flavored water, sports drinks, and iced teas, as well as diet energy drinks and diet children’s fruit drinks.  In addition to using misleading labeling and sugar contents that are through the roof, some other key findings point out that:

• Even though pediatricians warn against highly caffeinated energy drinks for children and teens, the companies clearly target teens for these drinks.
• In 2010, teens saw 18 percent more TV ads and heard 46 percent more radio ads for energy drinks than adults did. Teens also saw 20 percent more TV ads for energy drinks in 2010 than they saw in 2008.
• Since companies are not legally required to list caffeine content on product packaging, parents have no concrete way to monitor their children’s intake.

For parents of color, we ought to be doubly alarmed because these beverage companies are gunning for our kids…and they are not even subtle. Just look at the numbers. The YaleNews.com reports:

• Black children and teens saw 80 percent to 90 percent more ads compared with white youth, including more than twice as many for Sprite, 5-hour Energy, and Vitamin Water.
• From 2008 to 2010, Hispanic children saw 49 percent more ads for sugary drinks and energy drinks on Spanish-language TV, and Hispanic teens saw 99 percent more ads.
• Hispanic preschoolers saw more Spanish-language ads for Coca-Cola Classic, Kool-Aid, 7 Up, and Sunny D than Hispanic older children and teens did.

Am I the only one who is angered and insulted by this decision to target our kids, when the African-American community is already struggling with significantly greater health and healthcare challenges? This is a personal affront to me as a parent because the beverage industry’s targeted attack is saying several things about me and my community. They are implying:

1. That I am silly enough to think that just because they say something is “all-natural” or contains “real ingredients,” I’m supposed to run out and buy it for my kids even though it is still full of sugar and totally devoid of nutrients;
2. Even if they don’t assume that I am silly, they are assuming that I, as a parent, am not paying attention. We might all be busy but we are not all absentee; and
3. Their defensive responses, as reflected in Susan K. Neely’s, president and CEO of the American Beverage Association, statement shows that they are not willing to take responsibility for their products’ detrimental impacts nor their inappropriateness for youth. Neely’s statement, in part, says:

This report is another attack by known critics in an ongoing attempt to single out one product as the cause of obesity when both common sense and widely accepted science have shown that the reality is far more complicated.

I am so tired of big business portraying watch-dog organizations who seek truth and who pursue better protections and safeguards for families as lunatic fringe people with no creditability. There is nothing complicated about the sugar content of their drinks and the health problems they significantly exacerbate.

We parents really need to step up and call an end to the media manipulation of our kids and ourselves. Even if you have your own love affair with sugar and/or caffeine, surely you can appreciate that apathy with regard to the quality of your child’s diet is literally a killer! Beverage companies need to stop their shameful marketing onslaught of communities of color, who they perceive as an easy and less informed market. But we parents have to step up; take a strong stand for the protection of our children and vote with our dollars.

You ought to know:

• Electrolyte replenishment is only needed after extended (over an hour) and exhaustive exertion. Most of our kids are not running marathons. Orange juice is just as good after most kid’s sports activity—soccer, basketball, baseball, etc. It has more than adequate, if not better (certainly more potassium), electrolyte replacement than the commercial sports drinks like Gatorade. OJ provides additional nutrition and not all of the sugar and additives that sports drink have. We need to stop associating Gatorade with athletic achievement. That’s all marketing. Help your kids see through the hype. See through the hype yourself!

• Have you looked at what’s in that Capri Sun drink that you are packing in your child’s lunch? Capri Suns are not juice. As ColorLines.com points out, Capri Suns’ little 6-ounce child-sized drink pouch contains about 14 grams of added sugar. The American Heart Association recommends children aged 4 to 8 consume no more than 15 grams of added sugar per day. So that little packet of liquid that is rarely ever enough to quench even a small kid’s thirst provides nearly a full day’s sugar allotment. Good Grief!

• Energy drinks are popular and have become a part of a pop culture that teens connect with. But no matter how much the beverage industry tries to convince you that caffeine is safe for everybody, the unregulated use of energy drinks (with their high concentrations of caffeine) are not healthy for teens. Just ask the poison control centers, who have seen a tripling of calls related to energy drink consumption and caffeine poisoning.

• If you are not aware of all the forms of sugar in drinks—sucrose, glucose, fructose, high fructose corn syrup, etc- you may think you are choosing a health drink when you are consuming something far from healthy. Be informed so that when you pick a drink, you know what you are getting and what you aren’t. (Go here for the truth about Vitamin Water and here to learn more about high fructose corn syrup)

My family is already trying to cut down the sugar consumption in our household. This is a struggle because each of us has a serious sweet tooth. We love candy. We LOVE chocolate. And don’t even get me started about ice cream. The thing about sugar is I want to choose how I will consume it. I refuse to  passively consume my allotment of sugar unknowingly, like in a fruit drink, when I would prefer to eat a dove chocolate bite or a scoop of ice cream. We are trying to be deliberate about how we cut back and from where our sugar comes. But we are also very clear about the evils of sugar and how it contributes to all kinds of ills. Not just obesity, but inflammation disorders, poor complexion, and let’s not forget cavities.

So  now, in light of this study, my effort to curb sodas, sports drinks and energy drinks has taken on a whole new meaning. We’re going to stick mostly with water. And when we want something sweet, we’ll go with 100% juice. I am no longer handing my money over to companies who treat me like a stupid consumer who can’t make a half-way intelligent decision about own my family’s health!